I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
