Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
