I smell stomach acid.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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