but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
