just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
40s are totally the cure
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize