you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
worst night to have a conscience
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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