Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
