So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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