Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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