ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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