OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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