I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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