It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
