yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
