i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
