this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
