A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
