i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How external is "for external use only"?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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