I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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