Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
