Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
