My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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