I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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