My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.