Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

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  (303): So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl. http://tfl.nu/7x7a
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

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  (847): is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/zxu8
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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  (609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings (856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days http://tfl.nu/m946
  Replies (25) Good night (4123) Bad night (638)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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  (815): I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating http://tfl.nu/k15b
  Replies (30) Good night (969) Bad night (6846) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.

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  (785): The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart. http://tfl.nu/xj2p
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

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  (770): Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/xbgb
  Replies (29) Good night (2215) Bad night (4662) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.

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  (210): OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR. http://tfl.nu/pgie
  Replies (44) Good night (1065) Bad night (9726) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me

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  (260): I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me http://tfl.nu/3lh5
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (2788) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

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  (831): She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs http://tfl.nu/k6rx
  Replies (7) Good night (2943) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I would never do this in real life. It's only college.

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  (480): I would never do this in real life. It's only college. http://tfl.nu/l8vq
  Replies (4) Good night (2684) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook

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  (775): Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook http://tfl.nu/cps5
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?

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  (910): He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/tksy
  Replies (12) Good night (436) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday

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  (212): I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday http://tfl.nu/8t4e
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off

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  (318): I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off http://tfl.nu/iq1g
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...

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  (215): Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or... http://tfl.nu/y16p
  Replies (8) Good night (585) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt

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