OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.