I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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