I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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