Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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