Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
