Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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