I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
