Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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