I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
