...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
