but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
