I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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