So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
