just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
