i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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