trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
