i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's never too late to be topless.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
