I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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