2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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