And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
