Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Michael Bay diarrhea
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
