I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
