Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
