Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
