I want to have your abortion
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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