We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
