would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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