I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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