How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm determined to sit on that face.