Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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