im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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