so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
