Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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