weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
