my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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