This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
